Often the holidays can feel oppressive and overwhelming.
Luckily, as adults we have the power to change how or what we celebrate and participate in. Instead of getting sucked into the pull of years of habit or unchosen traditions, this season you can make the choice to reclaim it and redesign it to fit you and your loved ones.
I invite you to take a couple of deep breaths and feel into your body and emotions.
As you do, bring to mind the holidays. This is a self-check, to see if anything inside you feels tense, averse, or angry about an aspect of your holidays. This is like checking your body’s email messages to YOU, since our emotions contain useful information. If you find an unpleasant emotion reflect on what event, person, behavior, expectation, or tradition doesn’t feel supportive. It could be that you’re tired of overspending, or hosting, or keeping company with certain people, or a quality of disconnection present at that events you attend.
Once you know what you don’t like specifically, turn that around to the positive-“I don’t like hosting a big noisy dinner with people I don’t want to see,” to “I want a quiet evening at home with our kids.” Once you know what you do want its time to get creative! There are so many ways to get our various needs met. In the above example—I hear a need for relaxation, simplicity, and connection.
There are so many ways to connect.
One can change the whole plan or an aspect of it—there could be games, making music, dancing, baking, etc… Once you know you want to try a change, it takes guts to tell people that you’re experimenting with new traditions, but the payoff can be great! #empowerment #fulfillment.
So, if you don’t like decorating a tree, maybe don’t this year. Chat with people who would be impacted by the change to formulate a new plan, and problem solve it to celebrate and connect in a new way. In the very least, this season consider trying something new or starting a new take on an old tradition. There could even be something sweet to revisit from your childhood in a fresh way.
